Taking a hardhearted stance with 心を鬼にする
かわいそうだと思いながら、厳しい態度をとる。
To take a harsh attitude (with someone) while feeling sorry (for them).
Goo Dictionary
The expression 心を鬼にする literally translates to “to turn one’s heart into an ogre”. Its figurative meaning is to make a difficult or harsh decision, often one that involves being stern, unsympathetic, or strict, especially in situations where kindness or leniency might be expected.
The nuance behind this expression is that you are intentionally suppressing your compassionate or empathetic feelings in order to do something necessary but harsh, such as disciplining someone, making an unpopular decision, or enforcing rules without compromise. It implies a kind of emotional toughening, where you make a conscious effort to act in a way that might seem “cruel” or “unyielding” for a greater purpose or to maintain order.
For example, a parent might use this expression when they need to punish their child, even though it pains them to do so, or a leader might use it when they need to make a decision that will be difficult for others but is necessary for the greater good.
While the expression often refers to being hard on others for their benefit, it can equally apply to being strict or harsh with oneself for personal growth, achievement, or necessity. In this usage, it conveys the idea of suppressing one’s own desires, comforts, or emotions to pursue a challenging goal, make a tough decision, or do something necessary but personally painful. It reflects self-discipline or self-sacrifice, showing a resolve to overcome internal resistance or weakness. The nuance remains that the action involves emotional struggle and deliberate firmness.
